Do I want one of these?

I think i might want one of these -

but with a nice 32 inch flat screen TV to go with it...

If I didn't dislike Mandelson enough...

This is how I imagine how his informal little dinner chat over the fabulous gourmet meal in Rothchild's Corfu villa went down...

David Geffen: "Ooooh, (crocodile tears) boo-hoo, boo-ooooh Mandy, you've no idea how difficult it is being a multi-billionaire - I mean, I just don't know where my next few million dollars are going to come from any more. Especially not with that evil, evil, evil, internets - did you know people are out there practically STEALING the Almas Caviar out of my mouth? How am I ever going to pay for my breakfast lobster thermidor and oh yes, my artistes their pittance - if those good-for-nothing normal people go around downloading the music for free?"

Mandelson -"ooooh poor, poor Daaaavid, [oh, you're so scrummy you multi-billionaire gay you] (pass the white truffles please) - that's absolutely heart breaking. I'll tell you what - when I get home I'll make sure our lot take the internet piracy thing a lot more seriously. Like, oh, I don't know - let's say, no more internet for those file sharers and massive fines and long prison sentences for all who transgress - will that do you?"

David Griffin: "Well -it's a start... but if you could at some point in the future start fining the people who don't buy music from my record label - that would be good too. Oh, look the desert course has arrived - will you take your rent boys here or would you like to retire to your room?"

"Oooh rent boys - my favourite - hope they'll be gentle on my prostrate though..."

There now follows some free advice for the music entertainment industry on how to combat pirates...

1. Simply Totally ditch CD releases (and even iTunes) - go back to vinyl only releases.

[Well let's face it - it all started going wrong for the music industry when they practically forced every one to go over to CDs. Yes, at the time it was a boom time for the industry as most people ended up replacing their vinyl record collections with CDs... but that boom time is long over. Unfortunately - all that extra income got the industry thinking this was going to be the normal state of affairs from then on... Well, this was back when there weren't any such thing as CD-burners on computers. Let along computer games and mobile phones and internet access for people to spend their disposal income on. Then later there came those pesky MPG files and those damn iPods... and well, it was all downhill from then on.

Yet the industry is still frozen at that very point back in the Eighties and totally unable to comprehend what has happened in the rest the world since then - all they know is they still want to be making those huge amounts of money... except they have been repeatedly and so absurdly lazy-ass about facing up to how they could now be earning money from music in the internet age...

So bearing that in mind - they really should give up on the modern age - it's apparent they don't understand it, can't deal with it - and are unlikely to ever catch up now and should go BACK to what they know best - vinyl records - which are that little bit harder to digitize - hell, especially since hardly anyone has record players any more... and when the technology market starts churning out hundreds of those record players that hook up to computers and turn everything you can play on them into sound files... well, then the music industry can go back to producing rolls for player pianos.

stupid names

So there was this big expensive campaign on tv recently - where Alice Cooper, Ringo and some others were going about their lives pronouncing how they wouldn't be so internationally famous now if they'd stuck to their original humdrum names... so because of that the staidly named Norwich Union is to rebrand it's self as 'Aviva'. Or something like that.


But Aviva is a made-up nonsense name - and it means nothing to anyone. (Not to mention that it sounds more like a brand of bottled spring water.) It won't mean anything until it's acquired one over time. So, so far it's only connection with anything is with the recent trend for big companies to want to call themselves by nonsense made up names. Oh and btw trying to make a link between the name of a corporation and a celebrity - no, that doesn't work. A person working in show business is not the same as a company. And surely since insurance is a boring business - then it's perfectly fine for an insurance company to have a boring name. Plus I'd like to know how much money Norwich Union spent on those flashy adverts - after all shouldn't that money have been better deployed giving it's costumers better deals? Mmmmmm?

Moreover rebrands are usually a massive waste of time, cost staggeringly huge amounts of money and frequently end up being confusing for customers - for example witness the debacle of the Post Office wanting to call it's 'Consignia' - wtf?

I'm mentioning all this because Nokia* have launched a web based user generated content sharing site called Ovi. But what the hell is an 'Ovi'? To me it sounds more like Ovum - a egg. So what on Earth have eggs got to do with mobile phones and the internets and sharing photos and movies etc.? I'm confused already. Oh well, at least it's only three letters long and should be easy enough to remember. But it has prompted me to notice the tide of nonsensically named companies that there are now.

[*Nokia, now this is a good no-nonsense nonsense name - it's just the name of a Finnish town.]

US Consumers Finally Growing Some Damned Sense, Not Buying Bottled Water

Wanna know a secret? I've been wishing for a recession for quite a few years now - because I've long known that people act a lot less stupidly in leaner times.

This is a start - Consumers Finally Growing Some Damned Sense, Not Buying Bottled Water but we've still got a ways to go yet.

They're Back - Being Human

Linehan on the twitterings around the NHS

Oh, is Twitter useful for something then?

...and this is how NuLabour does things...

and this is how it's run things ever since it's been in power. IE Having meetings with very rich powerful people and doing whatever they're told - regardless of the consequences. (Examples of consequences? things like the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan - the global banking crisis.)

Mandelson launches crackdown on file sharing... just days after meeting with record producer | Mail Online

But the weird thing is - I remember back in the days just before and around the time it got into power it was forever getting cosy in with the trendy new bands of the day - inviting Oasis and other 'Brit-pop' stars into Number 10 for tea parties and the like to show everyone that they were down with the young people... But now here they are doing something which is really going to piss the young people off (and anyone with an internet connection) - way to go Mandy. You idiot.

what are they saying about me? is it rude?

One of my toys pix has made it to some sort of German site - A series of top ten of things or something.

Spielen Spielzeuge? - Platz 10 in Die 10 schaurigsten Geheimnisse von Spielzeug von Peter Glaser

chips with your passport?

Why chips in passports and ID cards are a stupid idea.

Blimey - even the Economist thinks chips are a bad idea. No doubt the Govt. response will be *fingers in ears* "la-la-la - can't hear you - la-la-la!!!"

we're doomed

None of this comes as news to me - but it's worth noting anyway:

Consumerism is 'eating the future'

The thing is, the current economic recession could mark a change of tide on how we go about things from now on... but you just know it won't. The emphasis is still all on trying to scramble back to where we were in the 'boom times'... with whole Governments and industry in total denial that was all based on smoke and mirrors.

So - in short, we're doomed. *sigh*

Calvin Harris - Humanthesizer - the first human synth

coo - so when is someone going to take this idea and make it into a live show?

Murdoch's fading empire (one can hope)

Oh boo hoo. Apparently Rupert Murdock's losing money. So he's making plans to charge for all his news websites by next summer. Oh please, please, please let this scheme fall completely flat on it's face and herald the death of his dodgy empire - he's had far too much power and influence over public opinion in the world - and particularly in UK politics for far too long.

And spot the inherent contradictions in this statement: "Quality journalism is not cheap," says the man who publishes - the Sun and the News of the World. Oh wait we're supposed to think of the Times and the Wall Street Journal when he says that...mmmm. Furthermore he expects that those Sun/NOW readers (aka plebs) will be happy to fork out for their celebrity gossip too. Oh please let that backfire too, please can we see an end to this insane pathetic obsession so many people have with a small handful of shallow vacuous assholes who seriously don't deserve the attention.

UFO seen on BBC Look North webcam

yeah - that'll be what we call - 'a fly'. God - it really must be a slooooooow week for news then...

link dump

Spent a long time wandering around campblood - reading the reviews - discovering who's gay in the horror film world, and reading the interviews.

Then finding this ancient article about Tim McBride (apparently he was in Friday 13 - Part 2).