Mr Stephen Baldwin

I wasn't really watching it – it was just on in the background on the Sci-fi channel while I was running around doing other things - this dreadfully lame film 'Dark Storm' starring Stephen Baldwin. I found myself casually wondering about this actor and how he had got himself into quite so many rubbishy B movies. I lazily did a bit of Googling. Oh my. What an eye-opener -I never knew he was a rabid Republican, G. W. Bush supporting, born-again, evangelical Christian who spends his time trying to brainwash... sorry, 'reach' young teenage kids through extreme sports (mainly skateboarding), bad Christian Rock and bad Christian rap acts and concerts. Who in his spare time campaigns against any sex shops that might dare to open anywhere near his locale. Bizarre.

All the more so considering the only vaguely half-way decent film I ever remember him being in was 'Threesome' Рwhere he played this heterosexual college student Jock in an odd m̩nage a trios with a heterosexual girl (Lara Flynn Boyle) and gay man (Josh Charles)... I particularly recall there was a three way sex scene where all of them are in bed together Рthe gay boys hand accidentally touches the Baldwin bare butt and moves it away Рrather touchingly the blond jock takes the hand of the gay one and puts it back again. Alas that's as close as they got to any gay hanky-pankying. Apparently there was a proper boy on boy snog and a scene of proper boy on boy action later on in the film but they never made it into the final cut of the movie. Dang it. And given Stephen's new-found hardcore values I doubt we'll be seeing a special DVD edition with deleted scenes any time soon.

Apparently ever since Stephen Baldwin has been publically denying there's any hint of bisexuality in himself or of ever wanting to indulge in threesomes – being the happily married man and doting father and good God-fearing Christian he undoubtedly is.

Ah well. At least in this little bit of research I got to learn about gay film directors Alan Fleming (interview about 'the Craft') and Kevin ('Scream') Williamson (interview) (how sad am I? I never knew he was gay.)

Poland to investigate 'gay' Teletubbies

Poland to investigate 'gay' Teletubbies |

Britons forced in to 'modern day slavery' by soaring house prices | the Daily Mail

This comes as no news to me - I've been thinking stuff like this for years. Once slavery was abolished in the Western world it's as if there's been a long search for a suitable replacement. After factory work and keeping deliberately low wages for the working classes to keep them under control (although most factory work has now been moved ashore to India and China etc.) - what better way to keep the middle classes working away than to get them tied to a mortgage? Just so long as there isn't a house-price crash like there were plenty of in the 80s - (thanks to Thatcher's mis-handling of the economy). There seriously needs to be a middle-class revolt of some kind - but so long as they're so successfully brainwashed into thinking they're all doing so well and are so successful -it only takes a plasma TV and a SUV - nothing is ever going to change.

Until that next crash at least...

Britons forced in to 'modern day slavery' by soaring house prices

colourise my world

Here in the UK the Living Channel has started showing a re-run of 'I dream of Jeannie' – the first series – colourised. The trouble with that is – I just can't stop noticing the colourisation process. I'm not ever really watching the show, because I keep being distracted by it. For instance I'm fascinated by the overly pink unnatural-looking skin tones, and the fact that they often leave the teeth and eyes uncoloured – so they look particularly strange. (When the same channel showed the old colourised episodes of Bewitched I was always fascinated by how they left Larry Tates white hair – uncoloured too.) I spend so much wondering if the frocks and set items were originally the colours they've been painted - and what the real colour might have been - that I'm not eally watching the program any more.



Absolutely nothing.

Say it again.

Technology | Freedom of rights management



Gay Flamingo pair adopt jilted chick

Who says gay couples don't make good parents?

(No wonder the evil right wing fundamentalist Christians hate evolution and Darwin so much - when all that real life nature keeps proving their stupid bigoted ideas wrong. Funny that.)

BBC NEWS | England | Gloucestershire | Flamingo pair adopt jilted chick

Things to worry about.

I really do believe all the politicians in this country have read 1984 and instead of being horrified by it as a nightmare vision of the future - thought what a set of massively good ideas it contained and took copious notes...

It's the only way to explain:

The database on kid's DNA being built by stealth.

Ministers insisting they be allowed to keep on keeping their secrets.

How Council staff, charity workers and doctors could be required by law to tip off police about anyone they believe could commit a violent crime.

A Police chief's 'Orwellian' fears.

Breakfast of Champions

So here I am watching 'Breakfast of Champions' – not for the first time and again having a hard time following it. It is a total mess of a film. None of the characters work as characters – they're all just people up there saying their lines and not falling over the furniture (unless the script requires them to) and various things are happening. For some reason I'm being reminded of the 60s surrealist comedy film 'the Bed Sitting Room' by Spike Milligan and Richard Lester. Which was a gazillion times better. In fact I'm thinking this whole sorry mess would work better as a 60s British film of that ilk – it would serve the madcap off-beat comedy they're painfully striving for a whole lot better. I'm seeing Michael Holdern as Kilgore Trout, John Cleese (or any one of the Monty Python actors) would do better as the cross-dressing Harry Le Sabre. Not sure who I'd replace Bruce Willis with though – I'll have to think about that one. John Cleese? Michael Palin? It's a hard job depicting someone who's going insane and who you still feel sympathy for. Although I can't work out if Dwayne is supposed to be sleazy or not. (Aren't used car salesmen supposed to be really sleazy as a stereotype?) Brucie isn't up to the job here that's for sure. It's a pity because you can tell he's trying so very, very hard. He wore his glasses and everything. Poor Brucie.

Talking of Pythoners – Terry Gilliam would have made a better job at directing it, Richard Lester certainly would have.

Now the thing is... if they're showing this as a tribute to Kurt Vonnegut - then where's 'Slaughterhouse 5'? I haven't seen that in decades and it is a much better film.

TV Adverts that don't work 1

1. The Nationwide ones with that comedian Mark Benton. I know it's supposed to be this 'we're not evil like our competitors are' deal. But I just see the evil Manager as being the manager of a branch of Nationwide. Especially since I've had a bad deal with Nationwide so know for a fact they're robbing bastards.

2. Those Victoria Wood ASDA ones. What are they trying to tell us. Go to ASDA and you might see Victoria making a fool of herself? That they only hire famous comedians to bake their bread? What? It makes no sense. The ads aren't funny - they aren't anything.


Oh. So... this week's Doctor Who.

Kind of 'Aliens' with Easterender Michelle Collins playing a pound-shop Ripley, a plot of not much consequence with lots of running down corridors* with a pound-shop X-men Cyclops for a villain. Security doors using pub-quiz style questions as passwords -huh? Why? Oh yes – Martha had to ring her Mom for some reason in order for the background sub-plot to work, and that for me was the only good bit of the show were Saxon's sinister hench men were tracing Martha's phone calls to her mom.

But dang. That's now the third episode of Doctor Who this season I haven't cared that much for. Last season it was really only 'Fear Her' which I hated. This time around it's been 'the Shakespeare Code', and 'the Lazarus experiment' (or Quatermass revisited) and this one – well not exactly hated but have felt indifferent to.

Oh while I'm at it - can I confess something – I don't like Martha much. There, I've said it. She irritates me. I know I'm likely probably totally alone on this one – since everyone else seems to adore her and prefer over Rose. But I dunno, for me she's just a shade too cocky, too self-assured, she takes everything in her stride too easily. Also I'm not getting a sense of any emotional depth from her as a character.

Still I have high hopes for the remainder of the series... especially after seeing this on the Jonathan Ross show...

(*but then what would Doctor Who be without running down endless corridors? A wooden blue box, a sonic screwdriver, and running down corridors is what the show is really all about.)

spiked | Missing ‘our Maddie’

At last a bit of sanity. There's something altogether weird about how the people in UK respond (IE totally over-react) to these things.

spiked | Missing ‘our Maddie’

Charles Arthur: Kill ID cards before they kill your government, Mr Brown | Technology | Guardian Unlimited Technology

something strange happens to governments once they've been in power too long. Hubris overwhelms them, their critical facilities atrophy away, they become unable to see the signs, and they plow ahead with the stupidest of schemes ...because ...because. well no one knows why they just do. Admitting to mistakes isn't part of the picture - that's seen as being weak leadership.

It happened with Thatcher and her poll tax, it's been happening repeatedly with Blair. He ignored all those millions marching in the streets telling him that the Iraq invasion was wrong, he's ignored countless experts speaking out against the ID scheme, he was repeatedly told the tax credits scheme was flawed... and that's the tip of the iceberg.

Charles Arthur: Kill ID cards before they kill your government, Mr Brown

Namaste Sharkington

Namaste Sharkington

Hah! So I was proved right that the creators were having trouble filling up 24 episodes per season. So they've negotiated it down to 16. Phew. Hopefully this means no more nonsense filler episodes, (or we probably would have had the 'how Sharkington got his tattoos episode') and even more red shirt characters...

It also means the show is less likely to be yanked off the air before the story's conclusion. But 2010... jeez. I'm already past the point where I wish they'd just phone me in the answers.

lie detectors

Interesting points made in the comments. If lie-detectors work for the masses - then why not for the politicians? the big company directors? the shop salesman? the insurance salesman? the used car salesman? No, seriously, why the f**k not?
Danger Room.

Mobile TV predicted to be a hit

Well speaking as someone who's alway fancied having one of those handheld tvs (but never been able to afford one. It always seemed wrong that they cost as much or more than a normal sized portable... that's the trouble with technology - smaller usually means it costs more.) I know I'd love to be able to watch teevee on my mobile. I've seen people do it on the train too. I was jealous. But apparently the Virgin Lobster phone didn't sell very well (and you shouldn't have to PAY to watch teevee on your phone - jeez. That's companies just being greedy.)

BBC NEWS | Technology | Mobile TV predicted to be a hit


Laz - a low

Oh Noooo.

The Lazarus experiment.

What a thorough disappointment that was. I was quite looking forward to this episode of Dr Ru what with it having Mark Gatiss in it. But he wasn't exactly given much to do. Starting off wearing a prosthetic rubber face – then being blond and sinister and then naked and cold pretending to be dead lying on some church paving slabs. The rest was taken up by a totally unconvincing CGI monster. That was an embarrassment too – apparently it was supposed to have Mark Gatiss' face. Looked nothing like it to me. Rather, it looked like something that might have been impressive back when CGI animation was first being worked out in the 80s – but now... umphf. If the story line was that a monster had escaped from a computer game then then it would have been fine. But as it was... it was far from their best. Certainly the least convincing.

My own personal prejudice is that the use of any CGI is better served when it's mostly used for architectural things – it often looks too obvious whenever it's used for monsters. Actually no, I take that back a lot of the previous CGI monsters in the last two seasons of Doctor Who have been brilliant – the werewolf (all that fur) – Cassandra, and um – a few others. Maybe they've raised the bar too high for themselves? Maybe they've got too lazy and complacent – or had to do it in a rush?

Oh well, I'm hoping this is the duff one of this season (like 'Fear Her' was of the last one. (Oh that one was so rubbish, rubbish and rubbish.) Now it's out the way hopefully things will pick up from now on... (although I'm not happy about having to wait a whole fortnight because of the Eurovision song contest thing. Gah. I never watch that stupid thing.)

The only other thing is – there hasn't been anything in this episode to quash my theory that a lot of the background story this season is about trying to re-create a timelord.

So this proposed 'voluntary' ID card...'s a funny sort of voluntary that means if you don't want to have one - you'll be denied a passport and now there are plans being mooted you won't be even allowed to partake in the democratic process...